OK, today I finally got over my horrendous (yes, I used 'horrendous,' it's just that kind of suck) fever hell only to now have a the cold from hell. I don't think I even have enough matter in my body equal to the amount of snot that has come out of my nose. I'm sorry if you're squeamish or are eating while reading this, but life's rough so toughen up. Why do we need noses anyway? Let's look at the positives and negatives.

Negatives
1. My nose is snotty and red from tissue use and I don't like it.
2. I have to smell bad things like cat poop and my sister.
3. People can steal it ("I got your nose!" is just a sick, sick practice).
4. Half your taste comes from smelling the food, so if people couldn't smell food, they wouldn't overeat so much and there would be less heart attacks and death and gnomes in this world.
5. During a test, there's always that one person you hear throughout the whole thing going "sniff... sniff... sniff..." followed sometimes by a big hearty sniff in which you are certain they have just swallowed all of that goodness.
6. It's just two more holes you can't stick your finger into (in public).
7. There's hair in noses. Don't we have enough hair in enough places that we have to contend with?
8. What did one nose say to the other nose? Nobody 'nose.' They 'run' away before anyone can find out.
9. Brownnosers
10. Despite what you might think, that pretty green stuff just does not taste that good.
11. Gnomes have noses.

Positives
1. You can smell good things like cinnamon and my orchard blossom deodorant.
2. When it runs (not when it runs away) it's a way of getting rid of the bad for you germs in your body.
3. We would look funny without them.
4. You can stick carrots up them.

Now to dispute the positives.
1. I'm willing to give up these good smells if I can get rid of smelly people smells. Think about it. If you can't smell somebody's odor, then you can be friends with them. We'll save money on soap and water. Everyone will be happier and world peace will come. And I won't have to smell my stanky Sonic apron anymore.
2. I'm willing to give more power to my pee to excrete all the bad things my nose won't be getting rid of. Just make more of the germs go away through the exterior instead and take more bathroom breaks. This way, the bad stuff ends up in the toilet or on a tree rather than the back of your hand.
3. We wouldn't think we looked funny if we never had them in the first place, or if we got used to it.
4. I got nothing to dispute this... carrots? That's a strong argument.

clubs